


My OUaT Season 2 Finale Review [in poem form]

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 12:37:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A review of the S2 finale in poem format.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My OUaT Season 2 Finale Review [in poem form]

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the [](http://onceuponaland.livejournal.com/profile)[**onceuponaland**](http://onceuponaland.livejournal.com/) Round 5 Challenge 08: Finale Review. Basically, we had to do a review of the finale in a unique way. I decided to do mine as poetry. 1730 words of poetry in 34 stanzas of free verse to be exact.
> 
> THERE ARE SPOILERS if you haven't seen the finale. You have been warned.

Sailing the high seas is his life.  
Hook should have been a trader, not a pirate.  
He's definitely got the sense of one.  
Then again, pirates are traders, aren't they?  
Dealing in stolen booty, living or otherwise.  
Who knew Neverland would bring him  
In contact with someone he never expected to meet.

     First meetings are tough, aren't they?  
     Never know what you're going to get  
     When you meet up with someone related  
     To a person you love so dearly.  
     Imagine realizing he's not just _her_ son,  
     But that filthy crocodile's son, too.

     Imagine learning that the man  
     You’ve started to trust is  
     None other than the man  
     That killed your poor mother.  
     Now imagine learning that it wasn't him,  
     But your cowardly father who killed her.

It was fascinating to see Hook  
Acting so very paternally with Baelfire.  
Teaching the boy to be a proper sailor,  
How to steer the _Jolly Roger_ ,  
How to interact with someone that  
Truly loved Milah without hesitation.  
He rose in my estimations in this section.

     Every boy should spend time in the sun.  
     Playing, cavorting, having fun, being happy.  
     They shouldn't have to worry about  
     Their own safety,  
     Especially when a relative is  
     The one trying to kill them.

     Grampa considers killing Henry,  
     Based on that crazy seer's prophecy.  
     Granny's got her crossbow,  
     Ready and willing to protect him,  
     Just as she was charged by his  
     Family when they entrusted him to her.

Robert Carlyle's performance here  
Was pure brilliance in his subtlety,  
Reminding me why I like the man  
More than the character.  
BAMF Granny and her crossbow  
Are on the scene once again!  
They really don't utilize this "pairing" enough.

     The black diamond is triggered  
     By Team Rocket, Meowth in tow.  
     How is it that they and the Home Office  
     Even know about its creation and duty,  
     If no one else knew but Regina?  
     And we know she'd never have shared that info.

     Regina's finally moving around.  
     Apparently sleep _is_ the great healing property,  
     Especially with Reul Ghorm's magic involved.  
     Have to find Team Rocket, have to get the beans,  
     Have to stop the trigger, have to save Storybrooke.  
     Oh wait, we're stealing storytelling style from _Hook_ here.

That Regina is even conscious here  
Is more than a bit of a stretch of the imagination.  
That she thinks she can try to stop  
Or even delay the trigger is laughable,  
But Lana Parrilla can act her way through anything.  
That goodbye between Regina and Henry  
Was beautiful, poignant, and started my tears.

     Meeting up with the Lost Boys,  
     Hook's kind of on trial again, isn't he?  
     Lying to them about Bae's existence  
     Really helped push Hook up in my estimation.  
     Knowing that crossing the Shadow is bad,  
     He still took a chance on protecting Bae.

     So not surprised that Grumpy led the dwarves in  
     Ransacking Gold's shop to find Sneezy's mug.  
     He was right in thinking Sneezy should die  
     Knowing his past and surrounded by his brothers.  
     That Grumpy also got enough of Reul Ghorm's potion  
     To restore Belle's memories is telling about his heart.

These two scenes were really fascinating.  
Both showed a kind of blind faith and desperation  
To keep a loved one safe in any way possible.  
Even if Bae's not his son, Hook saves him for Milah's sake,  
Just as Grumpy ensures that Belle will be Belle, not Lacey  
When Storybrooke is destroyed by the trigger.  
Once again, love really is a central theme to this show.

     Bonding over the wheel  
     Continues to keep Hook on my good side,  
     And even makes Bae seem more grown up.  
     There's a definite sense of camaraderie here,  
     Perhaps even a bit of affection on Hook's part.  
     If he stayed like this, I'd have liked him a lot sooner.

     And then the showdown in the cannery.  
     David and Hook versus Team Rocket.  
     Looks like Meowth may have defected?  
     Shots ring out because those are the rules, man!  
     Is Tamara really that bad a shot?  
     What kind of joke is this?

I've seen more positive growth from Hook  
In this episode than in the entire rest of the season.  
I actually _like_ Hook at this point. What the hell?  
Even in Storybrooke, when he and David are  
Fighting Greg and Tamara in the warehouse.  
Well, until he pockets a bean.  
But then, old habits die hard, don't they?

     Swan Queen scene down in the mines,  
     One of so few this season compared to last.  
     But better late than never, right?  
     Both give compelling arguments,  
     But in the end, Regina will do what Regina will do.  
     "Let me die as Regina."

     Another scene with Rumbelle in the shop.  
     Another scene I just don't fucking care about.  
     This couple has always been squicky to me,  
     And the introduction of Lacey only made that worse.  
     The resurrection of the broken chipped cup,  
     Restoring Belle's memories, and an icky kiss? Gross!

I truly have never been able to stomach Rumbelle,  
All I can see with them is Stockholm Syndrome.  
Plus Emilie de Ravin just isn't that talented IMO.  
But let's talk about that Swan Queen scene, shall we?  
Honestly, Lana Parrilla out-acts everyone on the show  
Without even trying and looks flawless when she does.  
Hell, even JMo got to do some actual acting for once!

     Explaining the situation of the trigger to Henry,  
     While giving JMo more good acting fodder,  
     Was a difficult scene to watch, but got easier  
     When everyone rallied behind our heroes.  
     Hook's revelation about and offering up of the bean  
     Had me really starting to rally for his rehabilitation.

     His flashback to the fight with Bae was rough, too.  
     Both actors did a fantastic job with the exposition required.  
     Watching Bae go from accusatory to grieving again  
     Had me sniffling, I won't lie, because it was heartbreaking.  
     And I've just realized that I listed the reveal  
     Of Milah's true killer far too early in this review. Oh well!

These two scenes had such a tremendous  
Outpouring of viscerally felt emotions,  
I was practically beside myself.  
Poor Hook having to correct the lie Bae believed  
Because Rumpelstiltskin was a coward once again.  
I honestly wanted to pull these characters into  
The biggest group hug known to this show.

     Off we venture once more into the fray,  
     If by fray you mean the mine and the trigger.  
     This was the beginning of the end,  
     Particularly since all of our main cast was together,  
     Minus Mr. Gold, of course.  
     It's clear that the final countdown as begun.

     The minute I saw the bean in Hook's hand,  
     His approval rating tanked again.  
     He'd returned to his bastardly, pirating ways,  
     Took the booty and left to save his own skin.  
     But memories of abandoning Bae to the Lost Boys  
     Made it a very difficult pill to swallow, didn't it?

This was once again a lovely pair of scenes  
Woven together in the whole of this tapestry.  
Even when he was showing his bastard stripes again,  
Hook was compelling to watch.  
He took to the road, looking out for number one,  
Just like Emma had called him on earlier.  
Life is coming full circle here, isn't it?

     Meanwhile far below town in the mines  
     We find our intrepid band of heroes  
     In the midst of fighting and weepy goodbyes.  
     Emma calls Snow and David "Mom and Dad",  
     Regina tearfully apologizes for not being strong enough,  
     And Henry finally tells her he loves her.

     But it's in that apology of Regina's that a plan is formed.  
     Once again, Emma comes to the rescue  
     With her "Maybe you can't, but we can" theories  
     And her "born of True Love" white magic.  
     Working together, Swan Queen stops that trigger dead.  
     The black diamond lying dormant on the ground.

Storybrooke is saved at the last second,  
Because those are the rules!  
This scene really did kill all my feels.  
Everyone was giving it their all and no one was superfluous.  
Even Charming wasn't just pretty window dressing here.  
The emotional nuances were like the finest Belgian chocolate.  
I could easily savor them over and over again.

     Gold exiting the shop as if all of this was normal was stupid,  
     And there wasn't enough of a reaction from anyone else.  
     This is bad storytelling, but not a deal breaker for me,  
     If only because it was a chance to catch our breath  
     Before finding out that Henry was no longer in the mine.  
     Team Rocket had stolen the son of the product of True Love!

     Watching Greg and Tamara try to act is painful,  
     Like trying to eat a pickle when your mouth is full of paper cuts.  
     Their manhandling of Henry was only made palatable  
     By the fact that it didn't last long before they jumped in the portal.  
     That this artfully set up the cliffhanger for our finale  
     Is made obvious when both Hook and Rumpelstiltskin show up.

I truly had a hard time with this chunk  
Because Greg and Tamara are truly inept and uninteresting.  
Neither is scary to me in any way, shape, or form.  
The fact that they've used magic and gone against their superiors  
Makes them wildcards now, loose cannons, and means they'll die quickly.  
Once again, those are the rules, and Adam and Eddy do play by _some_ set of rules,  
Even if no one else can figure them out, including the cast and crew.

     The last Rumbelle scene was painful  
     I really don't care about him and his man-pain  
     That is all a ruse because all he cares about is power.  
     And leaving Belle in charge when she's done squat?  
     Oh hai nepotism! Long time no see!  
     Wouldn't someone with a brain be better left in charge?

     Oh look! Nealfire is still alive! Unconscious, but alive.  
     And he was found by Philip, Aurora, and Not!Mulan.  
     Meanwhile, Gold's globe shows other lands, imagine that!  
     Oh look! It's showing us Neverland! Quelle surprise!  
     OMG! Bae's not the boy the Shadow wants, Henry is!  
     Let's use the bean to go on a grand adventure to save Henry!

And scene!  
Cue end credits and wait for next fall.  
While I admit that this episode was far better  
Than the latter half of the season,  
It's still not _quite_ up to par for first season.  
But it definitely made me have hope for third season,  
Even as I expect Adam and Eddy to fuck it up with their harebrained plots.


End file.
